Do you know what the person you care for is actually expecting from you are you over or under delivering?

When you care for someone with a disability, it’s easy to fall into assumptions about what they need - or what you think they need. You might overcompensate, doing more than is necessary, or sometimes feel you’re not doing enough. Both can leave you feeling stressed, frustrated, or unsure. 

The truth is, what you think they need and what they actually expect can be very different. A quiet conversation, a simple question, or just taking the time to observe can reveal a lot. Maybe they don’t need every task done for them - they just want someone to listen. Maybe they need guidance in one area, but independence in another. 

Finding that balance isn’t always straightforward. It takes patience, trial and error, and a willingness to adjust. Over-delivering can unintentionally take away independence; under-delivering can leave gaps in support. But noticing, asking, and checking in regularly makes a huge difference - for both of you. 

Remember, caring isn’t about doing everything perfectly. It’s about being present, responsive, and willing to learn from the person you’re supporting. Sometimes, the simplest step is just asking: “What do you actually want from me right now?” 

Understanding expectations doesn’t come from guessing—it comes from listening.  

Lara Marie  
Co-Founder lunor.life